Yes! Another Parental Triumph!

My baby is going through a super picky phase right now. (At least, I hope it's a phase.) The wonderful veggies he used to eat have suddenly become Baby-Kryptonite. His morning ritual of Cheerios and/or Puffins cereals is no longer welcome. The last two evenings, my last-resort standbys "rice" and "noodles" were completely unpalatable.

I was on the verge of a breakdown. I couldn't get him to eat cereal, crackers, rice, noodles, or anything remotely food-ish. Now, I realize that my baby is not starving. He is, after all, in the 90th percentile as far as weight. He's quite a healthy boy, actually. I realize he's not going to starve if he decides to skip a meal or two, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about his health and nutrition, his calcium and protein intake, or his blood sugar and energy levels!

And then I realized: even though he turns down every type of food, he always drinks! He will drink juice, milk, and water at all times of the day. BINGO!!

Now, on occasion, when he's decided he doesn't want any dinner, I have given him a PediaSure instead of regular milk for his last drink before he goes to bed. It is a complete source of nutrition, and a good way to make sure he gets enough healthy calories. However, I also like to give my boy options and get him used to different tastes. So, I've started giving him different smoothies and shakes. He loves them!! All kinds of fruit, soft tofu, soy milk, and even some Benefiber to help fill him up. I control what goes in, and I feel good about giving him something healthy, delicious, and filling.

I realize I'm not the first parent to think of this, but I'm sure there are other parents out there who are struggling. If your baby is really picky, maybe try one of these easy recipes. Hopefully, your little food critic will give it two thumbs up!

Mango Lassi
Anyone who has been to an Indian restaurant will likely recognize this.
1 cup plain yogurt (I use fat free 0% Total Fage Greek yogurt)
2-3 large ripe mangoes, peeled and stoned
1/2 cup plain or vanilla soy milk
Sugar to taste

Throw it all into a blender and blend for 2-3 minutes, or until smooth. If your fruit is very ripe and sweet, you may not need any sugar. Serve immediately. If you use fat free Fage, and no added sugar, this recipe is about 380 calories for the entire blender of lassi, and is also quite rich in protein, calcium, and vitamin C.

Soy & Fruit Smoothie
1/2 cup soft silken tofu
1 cup plain or vanilla soy milk
1 cup of the fruit of your choice. I like to use frozen berries (strawberries, blueberries, etc.), and bananas or other pulpy fruits work very well.
Sugar to taste

Throw it all into a blender and blend until smooth. Depending on the fruits you use, you may have to add more soy milk. This recipe is also rich in protein and calcium.

Feel free to experiment with this, as it is such a versatile smoothie. Try a chocolate-peanut butter-banana smoothie, or a strawberry-orange-banana smoothie. My favorite flavors are frozen blueberry smoothies (for the antioxidants), and pumpkin smoothies, which are very rich vitamin A, and good sources of fiber, potassium, vitamin K and iron. If you don't like the soft tofu, use plain yogurt. The point is to give your baby a protein, calcium, and vitamin-mineral rich meal replacement. It's also a great dessert for the whole family!

I wish my boy would eat his spinach, chicken, noodles and other food. But since he's quite set on being finicky right now, I'm happy to let him drink up a yummy smoothie. When babies get picky, parents adapt and slip in the nutrition any way they can. Ha! Another point goes to the parents!

I Didn't Fall Off the Bandwagon - I Just Never Diet

So, the past few weeks, I've been on a total eating kick. I totally splurged on two Thai restaurants (read the tasty reviews here Part I and here Part II), as well as Thai take-out, IN-N-Out Burgers complete with fries and a chocolate/vanilla milkshake, Claim Jumper (although I managed to get out without a dessert, and if you've ever been there, you know how hard that is!), Rock Bottom Brewery (again, miraculously, without a dessert), and I hit L & L Hawaiian Barbecue. I had a seafood dinner at home, a seafood luncheon, hosted a tea party, visited Starbucks and Coffee Bean numerous times, and indulged at Extraordinary Desserts. If that isn't all about fattening comfort food, then I just don't know anything about food.

All this splurging has definitely taken it's toll. My once loose jeans are feeling a little snug today. The scale says I am 6 lbs. heavier than I was last week. And I am totally ok with all of it. I'm not thrilled with gaining weight, but I see how it happened. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I am fine with days of splurging. I didn't sabotage myself, and I am happy that I could indulge in some really good food. Really, really good food!

I'm not saying I don't suffer from some guilt. I hate seeing that number on the weighing scale go up, and I feel the pang of feaster's remorse (especially when my jeans feel tight). That's ok, because a week or two of food indulgence does not make me a failure, nor does it cancel out all the hard work I've done so far. I indulged because there were a few special occasions, and my life will continue to include parties, and holiday feasts, and backyard barbecues. I guarantee you that I will eat more than my share of calories on those days.

One of the things I hate most about "diets" is the notion that it's a temporary fix. If you eat nothing but grapefruit for a month, you will definitely lose weight - if for no other reason than you get sick of the taste, the sight, and the very smell of grapefruit, and you just quit eating. My issue with "dieting" is that you change your eating habits for a short time to achieve a goal. What happens after you reach that goal? You usually go right back to your old eating habits, because living off of only grapefruit is very restrictive and not a very sustainable eating plan. My weight fluctuated, by about 20 lbs. over the course of several years, because I would go on and off various diets.

Going back to my weight loss mantra, I am working on a healthy lifestyle. This means no dieting, but I do maintain a healthy diet. This is realistic and forgiving, because there will be times when I eat too much. There will be holidays and parties when I celebrate and stuff myself silly. This is fine, I haven't "failed" or "fallen off the dieting bandwagon." I'm not even on a bandwagon!

If you are trying to lose weight, and you ate too much because you went to a party, or your kids were driving you nuts, or your job made you want to go postal, or just because you had a massive munchie attack, you are still doing fine! Munchie days happen. I think some people who "diet" feel like if they lose control for a day, or a week, or a few weeks, then they've failed. And since they failed, then they are a failure and there's no way to go on. I am working towards an overall healthy life. This includes learning how to have a healthy relationship with food, and learning how to regroup and refocus after a food splurge.

I know I'm not the only one who's gotten discouraged after gaining some weight, especially after I worked so hard to get it off the first time. I know, though, that I am healthier than I have ever been before in my life, and I know that I want to keep building and developing healthy habits for the rest of my life. Today, I worked out first thing this morning. That made me feel good. I ate a filling, low calorie/high nutrition breakfast and lunch. My dinner will be healthy and veggie filled, no more than 400 calories, and will include a glass of wine. And I will still come in under 1400 calories for the day.

I have the tools and the determination to get back on my healthy track. If you need some encouragement, remember, I'm always willing to listen and be a weight loss cheerleader. And if you have any tips, please share! Lots of people everywhere would love the help and encouragement.

5 Things I Did Today to be a Good Parent

Today was very challenging, for me and my toddler. Between a very late night, diaper rash, temper tantrums, impatience, hunger, and reinforcing boundaries, we have dealt with about five consecutive hours of intense stress.

At one point we were both on the living room floor crying with frustration. My child will, at times, be emotionally out of control. However, I am the parent, and as hard as it is to remember during times of great distress, it is my job to be mature and in control of myself.

So here are a few things I did today to be a good mother to my son.

1. Where is your nose? My boy was screaming with pain when I started to change his poopy diaper. He has terrible diaper rash right now, and I feel so bad for him. I try to make it as quick and painless as possible, but I completely understand his need to thrash and squirm away. While I could have strapped him to the change table, he was already distraught and I didn't want to stress him any further. So I started asking him, "Where is your nose? Where is your ear? Where is Mama's hair? Where are your teeth? Where is Mama's chin?" Naming his body parts is not only educational, it was also distracting. The crying didn't stop, and the whole diaper changing process took nearly 12 minutes, but he was mostly focused on something else, and he held still long enough for me to clean him well and apply ointment.

2. You scream while I cook. Some people will argue that it is wrong to ignore your child while they are in the middle of a full tantrum. However, my boy didn't want to be held, he just wanted to lay on the floor flailing and crying. I made sure there was nothing around to hurt him, and I went to the kitchen to get his lunch ready. After 30 minutes, he was winding down from his outburst, and his lunch was cooked and cool enough for him to eat.

3. Time out! For both of us! At one point, the screaming, hitting and toy throwing was just too much. Mr. Baby was having such a fit, and he was so inconsolable, that I just gave up. I picked him up, put him in his crib, closed the door and I ran to the other end of the house. After 10 intense minutes of kicking things around, crying and, in general, having my own tantrum, I was calm enough to deal with my boy again. A lot of women, I think, hide these experiences and pretend that things are always alright. I suppose there is a fear of being judged, of being seen as a bad parent or a failure in some way. However, I did not harm my son, nor did I scare him by letting him see me out of control. I vented as best I could and I carried on. It's completely normal, and it's more common than you would think. Taking a time out from your kid doesn't make you a bad parent. It's just a tool to utilize so that you can be a good parent.

4. Hi, Friend! Got a minute to talk me down from my ledge? Had our emotional roller coasters ended after three and a half hours and our first time out, I believe I would have been fine. Unfortunately, we had just gotten our second wind. The whining recommenced as soon as lunch ran out, and as I hurriedly prepared more food, the crying, the screaming, and the toy throwing started again. Once the food was ready, I sat my child in his high chair and I admitted that I was in need of third party intervention. I called my friend, who is also a mother, and she assured me that I am sane, I am not a bad mother, and that this is normal behavior for me and my toddler. It helped so much to hear a friendly and sympathetic voice, an adult voice, a voice that spoke in complete and coherent sentences. I was on edge and my nerves were frayed, and just talking with my friend helped me calm down. If you have family and/or friends, call on them when you need help, when you're stressed, or when you're at a breaking point. I believe that, if you have the resources, you should use them.

5. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. After five hours of stress and struggle, we were both exhausted. However, before I put Mr. Baby down for his afternoon nap, I took five minutes to hold him. I hugged him, and he hugged me back. I kissed his baby face and his baby head, I stroked his baby hair and his baby back. And most importantly, I told him over and over that I loved him. I know that we will have more difficult days, but I truly want my boy to feel secure that I love him, no matter what we go through. When I carried him to his bedroom, I kissed him, said, "I love you very much," and I put him in his crib. He smiled at me before he turned over and went to sleep. And seeing that smile reassured me, and made me feel that I could do this all over again.

So..... I know I'm not the only parent out there who has stressful and trying days. I have found that sharing helps, if in no other way than that you don't feel as alone. I'm always willing to listen if you need to vent, and if you have any tricks on how to cope with toddler tantrums and parenting stress, please feel free to share!