My Friends are Supposed to Protect Me from Myself!!

Ok, I thought I had great friends. I thought we had a very real "friendship bond" kind of thing with each other. They're my friends. They're supposed to protect me from my own innate stupidity!! Why weren't they there???

Problem #1 - They deluded me.
So, I thought, "Hmmm... There is this 8K race coming up. It's for a good cause, and maybe this will be the kick I need to lose the last 10 lbs. Sure, I can do an 8K. How hard can it be?" And my friends were supportive of me, and they said, "Absolutely, you can do it! I believe in you! You signed up, hooray for you!" Maybe it's my mistake. I didn't pick up on any sarcasm, and I didn't hear them laughing their heads off.

Problem #2 - They encouraged me in my madness.
I started training for the 8K, and I thought, "Yes, I will train and prepare. I am reasonably fit, and training will be good for me. How hard can it be?" And my friends were supportive of me, and they said, "You will feel so much better for doing this. You are healthy, and you will feel empowered. This is such a great thing that you are doing for yourself. You can train, no problem! I believe in you!" Again, I didn't hear sarcasm, but perhaps it's because my muscles were screaming too loudly.

Problem #3 - They didn't stop me when my stupidity gained ambition and momentum.
So, I'm out walking and jogging my little heart out (no, literally, I think my heart is coming out of my chest), and I stop at the Convention Center steps. Grandiose visions of a super fit and athletic me, running to the top of the steps, and just like Rocky, doing a very triumphant jogging dance filled my head. However, I can't leave Mr. Baby in the stroller because I am afraid of being arrested by some police officer, so what did I do? I put him on my shoulders and I ran up and down the first two flights of steps at the Convention Center - all seven sections. That's four times going up, and four times going down. I felt like my legs and butt were about to implode. And the first flight of stairs was fine, but with each flight after that, I became less and less like Rocky, and more and more like a beached whale trying to heft itself up the stairs. It was so sad.

I think I may need leg and butt transplants. Something has definitely gone terribly wrong with mine. Where were my friends???? Why didn't they stop me and say, "You know, this is not such a great idea." (And yes, I would like some cheese with my whine. As long as my cheese is cheesecake and my whine is a huge glass of Merlot with morphine!)

So I complained to my friends, and I told them that they let me down. These are a few of their responses:

"Are you trying to be Rocky?"
"Are you training for the Marines?"
"Well, quite frankly, you're crazy!"
"I would've chanced being arrested for child abandonment."

I was so upset! And then they got all supportive on me, and I lost my righteous indignation.

"I am so impressed!"
"You rock! I wish I was there to cheer you on!"
"You go, girl!"
"I still believe in you! And you will be so ready for the race."
"I know you can do it."
"I'll bring you some aspirin."

~And the one that broke me:
"Let's go walking, and I'll do the steps with you!"

Not only did my friends rally around me, comfort and sympathize with me, one of my friends actually came out and ran steps with me! How can you argue with friends who support you in your decisions, cheer you on through the pain and discouraging moments, and even volunteer to torture themselves right alongside with you?


............I have such awesome friends!

I Didn't Fall Off the Bandwagon - I Just Never Diet

So, the past few weeks, I've been on a total eating kick. I totally splurged on two Thai restaurants (read the tasty reviews here Part I and here Part II), as well as Thai take-out, IN-N-Out Burgers complete with fries and a chocolate/vanilla milkshake, Claim Jumper (although I managed to get out without a dessert, and if you've ever been there, you know how hard that is!), Rock Bottom Brewery (again, miraculously, without a dessert), and I hit L & L Hawaiian Barbecue. I had a seafood dinner at home, a seafood luncheon, hosted a tea party, visited Starbucks and Coffee Bean numerous times, and indulged at Extraordinary Desserts. If that isn't all about fattening comfort food, then I just don't know anything about food.

All this splurging has definitely taken it's toll. My once loose jeans are feeling a little snug today. The scale says I am 6 lbs. heavier than I was last week. And I am totally ok with all of it. I'm not thrilled with gaining weight, but I see how it happened. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I am fine with days of splurging. I didn't sabotage myself, and I am happy that I could indulge in some really good food. Really, really good food!

I'm not saying I don't suffer from some guilt. I hate seeing that number on the weighing scale go up, and I feel the pang of feaster's remorse (especially when my jeans feel tight). That's ok, because a week or two of food indulgence does not make me a failure, nor does it cancel out all the hard work I've done so far. I indulged because there were a few special occasions, and my life will continue to include parties, and holiday feasts, and backyard barbecues. I guarantee you that I will eat more than my share of calories on those days.

One of the things I hate most about "diets" is the notion that it's a temporary fix. If you eat nothing but grapefruit for a month, you will definitely lose weight - if for no other reason than you get sick of the taste, the sight, and the very smell of grapefruit, and you just quit eating. My issue with "dieting" is that you change your eating habits for a short time to achieve a goal. What happens after you reach that goal? You usually go right back to your old eating habits, because living off of only grapefruit is very restrictive and not a very sustainable eating plan. My weight fluctuated, by about 20 lbs. over the course of several years, because I would go on and off various diets.

Going back to my weight loss mantra, I am working on a healthy lifestyle. This means no dieting, but I do maintain a healthy diet. This is realistic and forgiving, because there will be times when I eat too much. There will be holidays and parties when I celebrate and stuff myself silly. This is fine, I haven't "failed" or "fallen off the dieting bandwagon." I'm not even on a bandwagon!

If you are trying to lose weight, and you ate too much because you went to a party, or your kids were driving you nuts, or your job made you want to go postal, or just because you had a massive munchie attack, you are still doing fine! Munchie days happen. I think some people who "diet" feel like if they lose control for a day, or a week, or a few weeks, then they've failed. And since they failed, then they are a failure and there's no way to go on. I am working towards an overall healthy life. This includes learning how to have a healthy relationship with food, and learning how to regroup and refocus after a food splurge.

I know I'm not the only one who's gotten discouraged after gaining some weight, especially after I worked so hard to get it off the first time. I know, though, that I am healthier than I have ever been before in my life, and I know that I want to keep building and developing healthy habits for the rest of my life. Today, I worked out first thing this morning. That made me feel good. I ate a filling, low calorie/high nutrition breakfast and lunch. My dinner will be healthy and veggie filled, no more than 400 calories, and will include a glass of wine. And I will still come in under 1400 calories for the day.

I have the tools and the determination to get back on my healthy track. If you need some encouragement, remember, I'm always willing to listen and be a weight loss cheerleader. And if you have any tips, please share! Lots of people everywhere would love the help and encouragement.