Shopping with a baby can save you money

I know I am not the only parent who finds it difficult to go shopping with a child. I know this because I see other parents in stores, and they're huffing, puffing, and some of them are yelling and losing it, too. Maybe it's wrong, but that makes me feel so much better because I know it's not just me.

I remember when shopping was a fun pastime. Shopping for clothes, for towels, for gifts, and even regular grocery shopping was an enjoyable activity. Even after the baby was born, it was fun to take him to a store and watch him look around with wonder.

.....Then he grew. And he developed curiosity ..... and manual dexterity. He hasn't developed any finesse or concinnity, but he's got speed and a long reach. This makes shopping much less fun, and much more of a timed-scavenger-hunt-obstacle-course chore. Please allow me to elucidate.

Clothes Shopping
Child in the stroller: Mr. Baby reaches out and grabs clothes hanging near the stroller. He puts the fancy, expensive blouse into his sticky mouth and proceeds to chew on it. Within 5 minutes, he is bored beyond tears, and he starts crying and flailing, and tries to climb out of the stroller. I haven't even made it to the fitting rooms, but the evil looks are coming from customers and staff, so I put the two tops back on the rack and leave the store.
Child out of the stroller: Mr. Baby runs around the store, almost cracks his head open on the corner of the glass display case, wipes his mouth on some hanging clothes, grabs some sweaters from a table and drags them behind him on the way to chew on shoes or jewelry. I pick him up, apologize profusely while Mr. Baby starts crying because I have prematurely halted his fun, and leave the store. Never even got to check out the merchandise.
Grocery Shopping
Child in shopping cart: Trying to buckle in Mr. Baby with the attached shopping cart safety belt results in a panicked, shrieking child, so we just pass over that. Mr. Baby sits in the shopping cart, while I steer the cart down the very middle of the aisle, which earns me a few glares and mutters about how I'm being rude. When in a crowded aisle, I am forced to pull to one side, which enables Mr. Baby to grab random things from the shelf, some ending up in the cart, while other items send me diving to the floor to prevent broken glass. At this point, Mr. Baby has usually started sucking on the shopping cart safety belt, or the shopping cart handle, or he begins climbing out of the shopping cart because he's tired of sitting. Either way, this is my cue that my time is running out. I grab the next two items on the list, and save the rest of the groceries for later.
Child in stroller: I plop a shopping basket on top of the stroller, and hope I can keep it balanced while shopping. As we go around the store, Mr. Baby reaches out and grabs whatever he can reach, dropping and spilling some things, while other things end up in the stroller with him. I always have to do a double check to make sure I haven't inadvertently become a shoplifter. By the time I have quickly wheeled him past two or three things he can't grab, his patience shreds, the tantrum starts, and our shopping trip is cut short.
Child out of stroller/shopping cart: Are you kidding me? Mr. Baby took off the moment we entered the store, I had to chase him down, and I just managed to catch him before he started eating avocados in the produce section. I didn't manage to get a cart, and holding Mr. Baby and a basket is out of the question. Grocery shopping aborted.

To my credit, I have never lost it and started screaming at my boy. I have, however, left without buying anything. On one hand, I didn't get my shopping done, and we're out of milk, bread, and cheese, and I will remain sockless for the next month. On the other hand, hey! I didn't spend a dime. It's almost like saving money! .....Or so I tell myself.

I've seen other parents in stores going nuts because their kids are climbing the carts and shelves. I'm ok with that. .....It makes me feel better knowing it's not just me.